MMS Friends

Friday, December 02, 2005

disappearances

when you're far away, people dying is different, somehow unreal. you hear about it over the telephone, and it hits you, yes, the way bad news hits you before you know what it really is. you know it's sad. you may even cry. you try to think about the person, remember them, delve into the pasts that swirl at the back of your mind and pull something out of your head to hold on to. but this person isn't dead to you. this person is away in that world where all the rest are, your family, your people, your past. that parallel world that runs alongside your own, informs it, is part of it in its own fantastical way. but you can't see, you can't really feel that in that parallel universe, things are changing, people are leaving and it will never be the same. you know that he is gone, that person who was once in some way part of your life. but it's not until you return that you really know this. it's not until you're back in the old world, maybe just passing through, maybe years later, when everybody else has filled up the absence and moved on, it's not until you step back there that you really know the loss. and then it's late. you cannot share the grief with all the others who have lived through their long goodbyes and beyond. you can only bring your own, imported sadnesses, out of synch with time, and mourn, alone. and until then, until you do go back to walk into the place he no longer inhabits, you live out your sadnesses in a foreign country, far from a home that is disappearing, slowly dissolving, leaving you eternally adrift.

1 Comments:

Blogger mwt said...

Life implies death, and death implies life--that is, in the terms of your world. You could not die unless you were the kind of creature who was born, nor could you have a present moment as you consider it.

Your body is aware of the fact of its death at birth, and of its birth at its death, for all of its possibilities for action take place in the area between. So don’t be afraid to die if you are prepared!

Death is therefore as creative as birth, as necessary for action and consciousness, in your terms.

Death, however, does not exist in those terms. In the dawn of physical existence, men knew that death was merely a change of form. A death is just a night to your soul.

Existence is larger than life or death. Life and death are both states of existence. An identity exists whether it is in the state of life or in the state of death.

Your body is aware of the fact of its death at birth, and of its birth at its death, for all of its possibilities for action take place in the area between….so don’t be afraid to die if you are prepared!

No man or woman consciously knows for sure which day will be the last for him or her in this particular life, that each calls the present one. Mortality with its birth and death is the framework in which the soul, for now, is expressed in flesh.

Birth and death contain between them the earthly experience that you perceive as happening within a given period of time, through various seasons, and involving unique perceptions within areas of space-encountered with other human beings, all to one extent or another sharing with you events caused by the intersection of the self and time and space.

Birth and death then have their function, intensifying and focusing your attention. Life seems more dear in your terms, corporeal terms, because of the existence of death. It seems, perhaps, easier to have no conscious idea of the year or time that death might occur. Unconsciously of course each man and woman knows, and yet hides the knowledge.

The knowledge is usually hidden for many reasons, but the fact of death, personal death, is never forgotten. It seems obvious, but the full enjoyment of life would be impossible in the framework, now, of earthly reality without the knowledge of death.

Spiritually the death sentence given you is another chance at life, if you are freely able to accept life with all of its conditions and to feel its full dimensions, for that alone will rejuvenate your spiritual and physical self.

The views that you had expressed were significant on several levels, and let you know that the integrity of the self and the soul exists beyond the possibility of annihilation, as you yourself will continue to exist regardless of which path you choose to take-dying within two years, or living physically on for many more. In other words, you will continue to exist and to be fulfilled within that love you sensed.

In the entire fabric of your existence, this life is a brilliant, eternally unique and precious portion, but only a portion, from which you emerge with joy and understanding whether you die tomorrow or in years to come. The choice of life and death is always yours.

Life and death are but two faces of your eternal, ever changing existence, however. Feel and appreciate the joy of your own being. Many live into their nineties without ever appreciating to that extent the beauty of their being.

You had lived before, and will again, and your new life, in your terms, springs out of the old, and is growing in the old and contained within it as the seed is already contained within the flower.

A gooday to you.

7:45 p.m.  

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