I get overly excited. I rush at the potential of things, childlike and full-on, impulsive in the extreme and extremely lacking in that zen-ist of qualities, patience. and this is why the ups - oh the swooping joyful ups - are always followed by deeplowly empty downs. The rushes get rusher, higher, buzzer, but the swinging dullness that follows, and the deep long aching. I'm learning though. I'm learning. I'm making mistakes and I'm learning. I'm learning not to wallow in the hollows. Not to dwell on the flip side of life for too long, but to dust off, chalk another one up to experience, and find the way out. Because even if the falls are vertiginous, and the tops-of-the-worlds tumble, the thing I've learned is that it can work the other way too, gravity-defyingly upside-down-fallingly out of the holes. Things can pull me up as fast as the plummets. I can pull me up. Blessed be the years that taught me that.